Joel Diprezan "Depression" Rules is the main protagonist of the Pregnant Pumpkin Database. He appears almost all the time, and first appeared in the year 2021 when he met Techno in an alley by some "weird coincidence."

Backstory Edit

Depression was born in 1984 in Salt Lake City, Utah. Depression was born a normal human with no powers known, named Joel Diprezan Rules (Joel, because his parents thought that was a cool name, and Diprezan, the Bilafian word for "heroic"). Then for about 35 years, he lived a pretty normal life of innocence (mostly). It all started when he was nine, actually. What Depression didn't know at that age was there was an upcoming war. This war was not at all like the previous WWIII. The Russian president at the time decided to make the Final Peace Deal with Queen Latig L. This caused a major civil war between Russians (mainly RAT and the Russian government). This war, known as the Russian Civil War, went on for a surprising fifteen years. Then RAT had no choice but to hide from the Russian government.

Childhood Edit

Meeting Derek Frisbie Edit

About the day before Russia bombed Fort Pobeda, it was Depression's first day of fifth grade. Depression had just moved from his old house to a new one about a week before, so he knew nobody at the school. During lunchtime, Depression was sitting by himself (possibly due to racial tension) at a lunch table when Derek Frisbie decided to befriend him. Derek revealed he also had no friends, and their personalities were instantly compatible. When Depression told Derek his full name, Derek thought Depression's middle name sounded like Depression, rather than Diprezan. So Depression stuck with it, for whatever reason (despite the fact it was the name of a mental disability). Within three months of school, Depression has over thirty friends, including Bzui, Gwen, Shran, and Paul.

A Scarring Incident Edit

There was one other notable childhood event in Depression's life. When Depression was about the age of thirteen (circa 1997), he was visiting his grandpa at his cabin. Midday, he was doing some unknown activity when, in context, said "seven" aloud and started glowing bright white. His grandpa walked in and saw the light, and had a heart attack. The white light went away right after and Depression managed to carry his grandpa into the bedroom. Then, he called his mom to get her to pick him up. When his parents got to the house, Depression was crying at the foot of his grandpa's bed. His parents asked him what happened, and he told them it was a random heart attack, not revealing what actually happened (this was likely due to shock). Then, the following week, his grandpa died at age 84.

Growing Old Edit

After the death of Sezla Rules, Depression spent the rest of his childhood depressed. For two years, he was in denial most of the time. Then he finally decided to go to counseling. It took eleven years, but Depression managed to recover. By that point, he was twenty-four, so he was in college. After graduating, Depression really had no idea what to do with his life, so he decided to stay at his parent's house and pay rent, while having a job as a pizza delivery guy. Then nothing else happened until 2019.


One day, Depression had a bad, well, day, so he decided to go on a walk to clear his mind. Near the end of the walk, he bumped into a peculiar man with a mustache and a green coat (despite the fact it was the middle of July). After Depression said sorry to the man, the man asked if Depression was interested in a "social experiment." Depression was unsure of whether or not to accept the offer, because they just met, but something said it was alright to trust him. 

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